Why Sarah Palin Scares Ginormous Amounts of Fecal Material Out of Liberals

Here are a few [only slightly exaggerated] Sarah Palin Facts:
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.
Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.
Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.
Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
Sarah Palin pick retroactively makes the theme of #DNC08 “Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead”
Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

Sarah Palin was to walk out to the singing of Angels, but convention organizers thought it might come off as showing off.
Sarah Palin’s suit is made from 100% dead liberal skin.
Sarah Palin prepped for this speech with a ritual sacrifice of Susan Estrich.
Sarah Palin has actually travelled backwards in time from after the roll call to accept the nomination retroactively.
Sarah Palin doesn’t actually have an accent, it’s distortion from her telepathic broadcast directly into your brain.
In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.
As head of Alaska’s Nat’l Guard, Sarah Palin taught troops in a training exercise to scare a grenade into not exploding.
Sarah Palin drives herself to work everyday - in an M1A1 tank
Sarah Palin believes in change, too. She takes it from your pockets after striking you dead.
Sarah Palin wears three quarter length sleeves to keep from getting blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.
Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.
Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.
Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
Sarah Palin pick retroactively makes the theme of #DNC08 “Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead”
Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.
Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.
Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.
Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.
When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
Sarah Palin plays Whack-a-Mole with her forehead, and always gets a perfect score.
Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.
Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

Some other great ones.

Little known fact: Sarah Palin makes Andrew Sullivan regret some key life choices.

@PetCobra - (SPOILER ALERT): Ted Moseby marries Sarah Palin. (I’m a big How I Met Your Mother fan)
@importantinfo - Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.
@mayjah - Sarah Palin was kicked off Survivor for killing a man and eating his entrails.
@FreeRangeMom - Sarah Palin has asked the CIA to investigate, find and dispatch the person who started Little Known Fact (I’m hoping this isn’t true)
@RedheadWriting - Sarah Palin is actually Kaiser Sose.
@wugou - Sarah Palin can divide by zero.
@davidsinger - Sarah Palin can read EBCDIC (I liked this because I actually used to have to deal with mag-tapes with EBCDIC encoded data. Ugh! I’m old.)- Sarah Palin coded the original prototype for Facebook.
@moveableHype - Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin
@RichardMahoney - Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels
@JonBurg - Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks
@Rammi - Sarah Palin wants you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!
@JonHenke - Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
@lagonmorph13 - Sarah Palin as VP increases Depends sales among scatalogically frightened Democrats
@RogHaak - Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout
@arratik - When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad
@robertgorell - To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Witherspoon spent the ‘98 seal clubbing season with Palin
@jstueve - Ben Linus does Sarah Palin’s bidding
@aefoley - Jesus has a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?”
@coreyclayton - Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience
Also @coreyclayton - Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!
@jtoeman - in the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful
@mayjah - Sarah Palin can keep a Twitter meme going on and on like a rave kid on X.
@KurtLuidhardt - Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.
@johntabin - N. Alaska is sunny half the year and dark half the year because Sarah Palin needed the reading light, then wanted a nap
@kurtluidhardt - Glasses sales up 150 percent since Sarah palin became nominee.
@kevinbinversie - The diamonds in Sarah Palin’s earrings were crushed with her very hands.
Also @kevinbinversie - Sarah Palin’s use of the word “Haberdashery” will bring it back in style.
@apophistoledo - Sarah Palin can roll a natural 20 on a d6 (gamers, you know it!)
@seanhackbarth - Sarah Palin loves opening up a can of whoop-ass.
@AndTheRest - It’s not over until Sarah Palin says it’s over.
@lagomorph13 - wants to be President but is too kind to cut in front of John McCain, so now we get her for 16 yrs!
@moveableHype - Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin
@RichardMahoney - Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels
@JonBurg - Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks
@Rammi - Sarah Palin wants you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!
@JonHenke - Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
@lagonmorph13 - Sarah Palin as VP increases Depends sales among scatalogically frightened Democrats
@RogHaak - Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout
@arratik - When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad
@robertgorell - To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Witherspoon spent the ‘98 seal clubbing season with Palin
@jstueve - Ben Linus does Sarah Palin’s bidding
@aefoley - Jesus has a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?”
@coreyclayton - Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience
Also @coreyclayton - Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!
@jtoeman - in the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful
@mayjah - Sarah Palin can keep a Twitter meme going on and on like a rave kid on X.
@KurtLuidhardt - Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.
@johntabin - N. Alaska is sunny half the year and dark half the year because Sarah Palin needed the reading light, then wanted a nap
- Sarah Palin had the original idea to drop the “e” from Flickr

- Sarah Palin writes low level device drivers for Linux

- Sarah Palin knows why Twitter doesn’t scale but she wants us to have the joy of finding out on our own

- Sarah Palin doesn’t have a favorite web framework. She is a web framework.

- Sarah Palin was the first one to know that Scoop sucks

Looks like Paul Bunyon has an Alaskan counterpart whose scaring those hysterical, hyperventilating, hypocritical Dems out of their Depends, as seen in the Sarah Conner Chronicles---soon to come in an Oval Office near the Potomac!!!

More Scary Sarah facts which will strike fear into the MSM Joker, causing him to OD in Mary Kate's Loft one more time.