Gore Regarded as Senior Statesboy

Back in the day, I can remember a time when Richard Cohen was actually regarded as potentially some sort of successor to David Broder or David Ignatius. However, that was long ago and sadly, Cohen has let himself wander permanently into the malarial zone adjacent the fever swamps of the left. The resulting infections have been known to cause febrile gibberish and hysterical ravings.

Cohen's latest essay straining all credibility concerns Al Gore's project aiming at resurrecting himself as a guru-zen pundit uttering koans concerning the future of the world. That is, when Al isn't ranting incoherently and waving his arms like one of those wind power generators the Kennedy clan does not wish near their properties on Nantucket Sound.

Unfortunately, like British pinup phenom Diana Dors, Al is forgotten, but not gone.

The always unbelievable and often ridiculously hyperbolic Gore denies having any future political aspirations. After the mandatory mantra of the left bashing Bush and all his works, Cohen riffs into his own delirious rhapsody:

It may be that Gore will do more good for his country and the world with this movie than Bush ever did by beating him in 2000. Gore insists his presidential aspirations are behind him. "I think there are other ways to serve," he told me. No doubt. But on paper, he is the near-perfect Democratic candidate for 2008. [emphasis mine] Among other things, he won the popular vote in 2000. He opposed going to war in Iraq, but he supported the Persian Gulf War -- right both times. He is smart, experienced and, despite the false caricatures, a man versed in the new technologies -- especially the Internet. He is much more a person of the 21st century than most of the other potential candidates. Trouble is, a campaign is not a film. Gore could be a great president. First, though, he has to be a good candidate.

In the meantime, he is a man on a mission. Wherever he goes -- and he travels incessantly -- he finds time and an audience to deliver his (free) lecture on global warming. It and the film leave no doubt of the peril we face, nor do they leave any doubt that Gore, at last, is a man at home in his role. He is master teacher, pedagogue, know-it-all, smarter than most of us, better informed and, having tried and failed to gain the presidency, he has raised his sights to save the world. We simply cannot afford for Al Gore to lose again.

Cohen simply must be blowing on the biggest bong in DC. To put this blowhard gasbag earthtone phoney up as a serious presidential candidate reveals Cohen's utter cluelessness. Gore is a one-trick pony. He had his shot in 2000 and blew an insurmountable Democratic Party position by losing a debate to George Bush, making a fool of himself innumerable times by word and deed, and generally driving people out of the room screaming with their hair on fire. When he didn't bore them to tears.

Puhleez, Democrats, nominate Al Gore for President in 2008. Justify Richard Cohen's apparently boundless esteem and prove that you have matured into an elder statesboy. And share more of your musings on the fate of the world and your own personal date with destiny. The American People need your sort of forceful and accurate leadership. Plus you invented the Internet and are well-placed to lead our country through the perils of globalization without protectionism. Aren't you?

And keep gaining weight. It's said to be just great for your health.