LONG-TIME LOSER HITS PAYDIRT!

One of life’s chronic losers, a crank and crackpot named William Blum is having his fifteen minutes at the trough of destiny.

Al-Qaeda’s answer to Oprah recommended Blum's book from his nook in the caves of Wajiristan the other day and both Oprah and Michael Moore now have a new mentor to learn from. OsamaBL, Moore’s mentor in anti-Americanism, now has given the morbidly obese oaf more guidance so he can catch up on his reading between snacks.

You can bet the talk-show bookers are crawling all over each other like worms in a can to get Blum, a cast-off from government personnel lists, on their mindless babble-fests. What a coup to get another Bush hater out there in the TV asteroid belt!

True to leftist tradition, Blum has never had a real sustained job, but after leaving the State Department computer corps because of Vietnam, or more likely, screened out because of a faulty work ethic or an attitude problem, he devoted his life to gnawing at the hand that had so briefly fed him.

But this American life had a greatly belated Second Act. Now he can cruise the campuses with the likes of Richard Clarke and ex-Amb. Wilson in a search for money and that bitch-goddess that has eluded him so far. Can Valerie Plame be far behind?