CHIRAC RATTED OUT!!

Newsweek Rats Out Chirac

Jacques Chirac, formerly an admirer of Saddam Hussein, [who still admires Chirac according to recent quotes from his bully pulpit in his Baghdad courtroom], was very businesslike in his dealings with Da Vinci Code director Ron Howard, according to an Newsweek report picked up by Drudgereport.

The French president, never known to be obsessively scrupulous concerning his reputation for integrity,

suggested they cast his daughter's best friend in the leading female role, Newsweek magazine said. "We thought it was going to be a five-minute thing, like a trip to the Oval Office -- a photo and a handshake," said producer Brian Grazer of the hour-long meeting he and director Ron Howard had at Chirac's office in December 2004.

Chirac’s reputation as a fixer/problem-solver was brought up in the conversation:

Newsweek said Chirac offered to smooth out any problem they might encounter in their request to film some scenes at the Louvre -- where The Da Vinci Code's murder-and-religion mystery begins and ends.

Chirac also mentioned his skills at casting and had some particular ideas about the film.

In addition, said Grazer, Chirac suggested his daughter's best friend -- whom Newsweek describes as "an actress of some acclaim in France" -- for the film's leading female role, which in the end fell to Audrey Tautou.

Chirac demonstrated an aptitude for being an agent.

Chirac also "wondered aloud, half seriously, if they could sweeten the paycheck for actor Jean Reno," Newsweek said. Reno plays the detective assigned to the case.

Finally, Chirac showed his highly-nuanced and subtle sense of humor to the amused producer and director.

"That was hilarious," said Howard of the request on Wednesday. "Fortunately the deal was already closed."

The satirical weekly Le Canard Enchain? gave the story the headline "Chirac: "Veni, vidi, da Vinci…" while noting in disappointed tones that Newsweek had not offered more clues [about the identity of the actress Chirac recommended].

The oleaginous Chef d’Etat might be ideally suited for an afterlife post-Elysee Palace metier as a Hollywood producer, given how highly he is admired in Tinseltown for his adept skating-at-the-edge UN performance when his catamite/protege Dominique de Villepin reneged on a promise to Colin Powell to support the US resolution on use of force in Iraq.

Also, rumors of Chirac's prodigious venality would make being a big-time Exec in a Hollywood front office a perfect career fit.